Mountain fire.

John Singer Sargent Calendar - Mountain Fire (1903-8)

The Rim Fire is still burning in Yosemite, and containment is expected in the next two weeks. Fires have been a part of my life for my whole life. I grew up in Central California. The Sierras are always burning. It's a part of life, the destruction.

I read over the summer that in other states, people burn their dry grass in their lawns and then the grass grows back better. We don't do that on the West Coast. We have bad air, and we're constantly trying to make it better, ride bikes! get a hybrid! commute! These are important things. These things help our children's asthma not be so bad. It's a mess.

Fire is important. It clears up overgrowth. It gets rid of stuff that's in the way. Now I'm thinking metaphorically, not like the crazy boss lady from 30 Rock who kills all of her employees in a "cleansing fire" (sorry, couldn't find a clip). Anyhoo, sometimes it's good to clean up the overgrowth.

Please take a moment to read the most recent news about Syria, and consider making a donation to MCC, currently providing direct aid to Syrian refugees.

Huge eBay Sale!

Vintage Kitschy Milk Glass Mug - gotta have 'em :)

Note: In honor of this Tennessee coffee mug, here's a couple "I heart TN" songs to enjoy :)

My shoulders have been really tight over the past couple weeks, even after I went to my favorite $19 massage place (where I've realized that they act confused every time you ask for the special, and try to change your mind so you pay more money - not gonna happen). So the tight shoulders made me think about stress, made me think about clenching my teeth, made me think that I left my bite guard at home a month ago when I started housesitting, and maybe it's time for a new one. So yesterday, I bought a new one. Good work, Megan.

Some sort of whiskey + coffee recipe on the back :)

I've been really stressed about money, like constantly worrying about it, and I imagine that this has contributed to the stress I'm feeling in my upper body. I've been worried about the month of July for like six months, which is crazy, right? I've been worried that this July will be like last July, where I made like $500 and couldn't pay my bills. Well, for whatever reason (pure brilliance, perhaps?), I looked around my super-crowded apartment (on a quick trip home to send orders) and realized "Holy shit! I have a lot of stuff in here." I've been working so hard to increase the base number in my shop that I haven't really sifted through the lot to get rid of stuff that hasn't sold.

Anyhoo, I decided that July is the perfect time to have a huge sale in my eBay shop, and clear out stuff that just hasn't sold. And it's been so great! I'm getting rid of stuff. I'm getting momentum, eyes on my stuff, people browsing around. I love it! I'm realizing how necessary it is for me to clean out the attic, so to speak, to clear out my shop, my head, my body, to be willing, at least once a year, to make a change in the status quo, and grease the wheels of my gosh-darn life.

Thanks for stopping by - come again soon :)

Rummage sale planning - Part 1

Your ultimate dream: parent-child matching costumes.

I wish I had a delivery boy who brought me sandwiches from Whole Foods on weekends, or any evening really. I was at Whole Foods last night getting groceries, and wishing that I was home in a prone position. Sometimes I think people need to get married so that they split up these kinds of things. I swear I talk to so many women whose husbands cook and clean, and I do not know how this all goes down. It's a mystery to me. I tend to be more traditional, hands in hot soapy water washing dishes, making broccoli pesto for dinner, etc. There are just certain things I don't like to do, and sometimes these things keep me from doing things I would enjoy doing.

[Insert rummage sale here]. So I am currently organizing a rummage sale, to be held at my church, to raise money for Syrian refugees. I found myself getting too caught up in the minutiae of my own life, took a step back, and realized that I needed to be more productive, and generally whine less.

I did the same thing a couple years ago, but it stressed me out so much that I swore I'd never do it again. Now I'm just trying to stay chill, let things happen, and not agonize over the details. I don't know if it's working. I'll let you know.

Way more play...

Made in France! Who knew they loved self-help books?

This guy kept passing me in the aisles today making weird noises, almost like clicking, but not quite. The first time it happened, I figured I was hearing something. The second time, I figured out what was happening, and it did not feel good.

Maybe it's my terrible hair making me more approachable; maybe it's my ever-present smile scowl - but I've been getting way more play in thrift stores lately. Even the female employees are becoming more friendly, and I talk to them about things other than thrift! Isn't that cool? I'm becoming an almost friendly person, perhaps even likeable. Or maybe it's because I shower regularly and have all my teeth. Meh, it's a crapshoot, really.

I'm so into mugs right now. It's a thing. Usually my thing is food-related, but not currently. I can't even remember the last time I ate a burrito. Now how weird is that?

BIKRAM #2 (and #3)

 

So Tuesday, I went back to the hot yoga studio. There was a different instructor, and she suggested that I sit out one set of each posture (they do two sets of everything), so I did. After an hour, I thought I was going to die from the heat and I couldn't slow my heart rate down, so I just laid on the ground for the last twenty minutes and willed my breath to keep me alive. I succeeded.

Wednesday (i.e. yesterday), I went again, this time not because I had something to prove to myself or anyone else, but because I really wanted to go back. My job can be stressful if I allow it to be, and it's really nice to look forward to a time where I can let out all the bad stuff that's hanging out in my body. I'm not a big believer in toxins and all that jazz. I'm not going to buy a cleansing kit that does horrible things, nor am I going to go crazy and do the cayenne/lemonade thing. But a regular thing that makes me feel good every day? I think I can get behind that.

I know. I know. Now I'm a crazy Bikram convert. But seriously, I need something to look forward to that is different from everything else. I need something that doesn't mess with my spine or my blood sugar. So, for the time being, this is going to be it. Deal with it haters.

On another note, I moved back home last night. At one point, I had dirty laundry, clean laundry, food, all my eBay stuff, my briefcase, toiletries, and my post-yoga mat and towels all in piles in my super small living room. If the lighting were better in my apartment, I would have taken a picture. It was scary stuff.

Then I cried about turning 30 and laughed while watching Bachelor Pad. All in a day's work.

Summer house-sitting

Vintage Italian Race Car tie

I am often asked to house-sit, since I'm single and people assume that I will jump at the chance to live in a real house (or maybe they just know I love dogs and central air, and know that I won't have to get a housesitter for my own house, seeing as how I live in a garage and carry all of my valuables with me when I leave).

It's pretty difficult for me to leave my bed for more than an afternoon (it's really an all-purpose piece of furniture: desk, chair, kitchen table, sleeping mechanism). So my experience this summer of housesitting has been a really positive one. I was able to pack up my stuff and drive away, and I was super proud of myself for just doing it, without planning to go home every day to check on my store, but just putting it on vacation, and saying, "I'll mail it Tuesday". I'm proud of myself for getting out of bed, for weeding the garden and playing with the dogs, for taking the opportunity to walk down to the river and stumble upon a pack of super-tan cyclists on some sort of long-distance jaunt with bike trailers. And I'm proud of myself for being the kind of person that people trust to leave their dogs, cat, and schools of fish to care for.

And finally, I'm proud of myself for figuring out how to use the coffee maker, because that kind of failure would have been tragic.

To do list :)

Things to do in the near future:

1. Become less fearful of actual human contact
2. Give couch to friend's friend who needs a couch
3. Get comfy chairs for living room
4. Kill all weeds in backyard (never gonna happen)
5. Fill holes in drywall
6. Finish year-end paperwork for good
7. Wash car, inside and out
8. Trim bush outside front door
9. Install outdoor shade
10. Organize inventory (constantly happening)

Belt buckles - Booyah.

Mim Di N (what does that even mean?!) belt buckle

This afternoon, my nurse practitioner, who is in charge of my diabetic care (obviously second in command), told me that something has happened to me that is so interesting, she is going to bring it up in her next case conference! How cool is that?! She said that one of the doctors at the practice is a diabetes nerd. I said, "I'm a psychopath nerd". She laughed. She got it. We had a moment of shared understanding. It's weird to have to be in school so long just to do what I want to do, the thing that my soul knows how to do.

Solid Brass-Made in Israel.

I made a thrift stop on the way home and have already listed everything I bought! How awesome is that? I was so productive today. I cleaned the yard for my party. I had help. We were amazing. Me and my tall friend made that yard our bitch. I was so proud, I had to keep going outside to look at it. There was so much dust, I kept blowing my snot all over the place. Disgusting. I was sneezing like a mofo.

Just to emphasize the awesomeness of this feat, I did not, as a rule, do yardwork until about a year ago when I found that it was cathartic. So me, doing yardwork, and getting injured (I got a palm thorn stuck in my hand) was some kind of proof to the world (and my parents, who am I kidding) that I'm not a loser. I'm a grown-up who does yardwork.

Booyah.

Grad plans #1

My outfit plan for graduation:

1. Orange linen dress from Salvation Army, altered from a long dress (for a less tall person) to a mid-knee dress, perfect for moi. I got the thumbs-up from the seamstress when I tried it on. She was super sweet. I love that I found a good eco-friendly dry cleaner next to a good shoe repair shop. An extra plus? There's a post office there too :)
2. Pearl earrings, a gift from my friends who traveled to India my first year at the seminary. They need to be fixed so I can wear them.
3. Turquoise beaded sandals, thrifted a few months ago when it was definitely not sandal weather. They're so awesome, I can't stand it.
4. My new red ring! I sold some Frye boots, so I had enough money to cover it. I didn't expect to do it before graduation, but then I got antsy when I found exactly what I wanted.
5. I'd like to have my hair done up. It's still pretty short, but I think that if I have enough bobby bins, I'll be fine. Here is something that resembles the look I'm going for. I don't know if I can make it work, but I'm gonna try.

I needed to make a plan to orient myself to a time of celebration. Now I need to figure out how to have a party, even though I'm not really a party girl. How can I incorporate recycling into a fun-for-all soiree?

One fatal flaw

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

I am obsessed with keeping my computer clean and orderly. And in the past two weeks, this has come back to bite me in the ass, and not in an ass-scarring kind of way, but an ass-maiming kind of way. I lost an editing job I spent a day working on. Tonight, I lost a page of notes from meetings that cannot be recovered. I just spent the last half-hour going through the recycling bin and putting together the puzzle pieces of the printed copy I'd torn up (the details really don't matter).

I can't keep living this way. I can't keep obsessing about "computer baggage". I need to start holding on to things, not because they're important, but because it puts me in the mindset to hold onto things so that when something actually important comes around, I don't act like a dipshit and throw it away.

Dear self - In an attempt to protect yourself, you've created a world where you leave no trace, where you quietly enter and exit rooms so that no one notices you. And for a time, that was a good skill. It kept you safe, and you did a really good job staying safe in very dangerous and ugly situations. But now, life is different, and you don't need to cover your tracks anymore. You can leave footprints. You can be visible. It's going to take some time, but this is a first step. Buying a jump-drive is probably sufficient, but you might need to purchase an external hard drive. I'm sorry that this lesson has been so painful and stressful. Life lessons often are. But don't beat yourself up over it. You did the best you could. Now, you know better, and you're gonna do better. Much love. - M

The lure of decluttering

My apartment is a mess. I signed up to do a flea market in April, but it's the same day as the Mennonite Central Committee Annual Relief Sale, which is an unmissable event, so I think I'm going to have to decline the flea market.

I hate it when that happens. I have to decline one awesome thing in the interest of another awesome thing. What a huge bummer. Now I have no hope for the end of the clutter.

There aren't flea markets in my area worth selling at, so I'd have to travel if I was really motivated. I'm not motivated enough to travel right now, but I might be in six months or so. When traveling becomes involved, I almost wonder if I would be better off with a partner of some sort, or a buddy. But then again, who would I want to spend that kind of time with? Not many people. And since my friends all have their own stuff going on, it's not very likely that I'll be able to find a sidekick. Or maybe, I need a boyfriend who worships at my feet, and has nothing else going on in his life (I just shuddered at that thought-yuck).

Cigarette smoke = yuck

You've put me in a quandary, Jack Donaghy. A quandary.

Tracy Jordan

The past couple weeks, I have been the unwitting purchaser of cigarette smokey clothing and shoes. I am far more likely to smell things that are old, rather than items that are new or newer. I ended up buying five (!) pairs of cigarette smokey pants and one pair of very expensive french boots. I was able to wash the smell out of the pants, but I felt weird about the whole business. I am all for full disclosure, but I really don't like having to include the phrase: "When this item was purchased, it smelled like cigarette smoke."

I guess I'm adding sticking-my-face-in-pants to my regular thrifting ritual. It was not worth the time for those pants, but I didn't want to lose money, so I went through the effort of cleaning them, and in the end, it was no big deal. I don't know what I'm going to do with the boots yet. They're leather, and I've cleaned them with saddle soap, but that did nothing for the smell. I'm considering getting them professionally cleaned, but I don't know if it's worth it on my end to do that. But who would buy them if I didn't?