I love presents!

I'm not much of a holiday gift giver. Yes, I may give you something for your birthday or for Christmas if it's already in my stash, but mostly I'm an everyday gift giver. I love giving presents so freakin' much - sometimes I can't stand it. I get giddy and smiley and I am so excited until the moment. Today I found the greatest thing, and I'm testing it out right now, and I'm dying to text the person to tell them that I got them an amazing present and I don't know how long I'll be able to wait to give it to them (no, it's not for you, or you, or you).

I don't think I really came into my own as a gift-giver until adulthood. I mean, I've always had the skill, the unusual talent, but I don't think that I appreciated how awesome it was, or realized how awesome it might be for other people until I'd reached my early twenties. I went through a period of time of giving lots of money away secretively. That was fun, and maybe too extravagant for that time in my life, but I did it. I gave lots of money to various ministries I supported and causes I believed in. Sometimes I gave because I felt like I had to (i.e. "God loves a cheerful giver"), but over time, I've stopped giving for that reason.

I was taught to tithe to the church, and I struggle with that. I thought that God would give me everything I needed, and then I would tithe out of that. But when I started to not have enough, I stopped giving to the church. Maybe my financial dire straights (not really dire, just full of debt) are due to this, to my lack of faith. But then I think back to all the times I gave so much to people in need, out of my own abundance, and wish that I could somehow receive that back in kind. Money is funny. That's all I'll say.

I might last another 24 hours. This thing is so perfect, I can't stand it.

Thrifted gifts?

Kid-friendly and appealing vintage Yosemite mug? Made for me.

Dear germophobe friend (you know who you are), stop reading. Do it. Do it now.

Thanks to Van over at Thrift Core for being awesome and vegan and thrifty and cheap, and inspiring me to be less lame and a total downer (as I totally have been lately, admit it), and talk about some recycling.

Thrifted gifts? Yay? Nay? My ethic of gifting is finding the perfect thing, the thing that says "I know you, and I see you, and I love you as you are." Oh my gosh. I'm cracking up right now, because after writing that, I realized what a weirdo I am. But anyhow, there are no guarantees. You may get a thrifted gift from me, or you may get a poem, or a framed piece of art, or a framed original comic (I am an excellent single-pane comic artiste - no joke).

So yes, that does mean that I have a stash all year long that waits for birthdays and Christmas to get used. It also means that my goal is your happiness. So selfless of me (meh. I'm just trying to buy your love like everyone else).

You will not get something gross. Because if I couldn't think of anything on the way to your house at the last minute, I will bring you alcohol, or cake. And that will make you happy.

Peace out :)

Anne Shirley on love

“For a moment Anne's heart fluttered queerly and for the first time her eyes faltered under Gilbert's gaze and a rosy flush stained the paleness of her face. It was as if a veil that had hung before her inner consciousness had been lifted, giving to her view a revelation of unsuspected feelings and realities. Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath. ”

L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

First Post of 2012!

When I get stuck, I blog. I'd been posting every day for months last year, and towards the end of the year, I ran out of steam.

Well, I've been thinking sporadically about my senior paper now for weeks and haven't been processing it anywhere, so here I am again at the place where I do my best thinking. It may not be pretty at first, but hang tight, I'll get back into the swing of things before you know it.

It's January 2012 now, and December 2011 is behind us. Interesting things happened last month. Here are a few of my favorites:

• I intentionally took time off from work - Wowzah!
• I got attacked at a Hanukkah party by a crazy alcoholic - And successfully spoke my mind!
• I acted like a teenager and started watching Roswell - Sci-Fi baby!
• I sold a lot of stuff on eBay and Etsy - Best sales month ever!

Here are a few of my favorite Christmas presents:

• A Daniel Day-Lewis movie
• An Etsy favorite nude that I've been admiring for ages
• Money for thrifting that I've already spent, and quite happily

The thoughts I am having for my senior paper revolve around being human, experiencing unwanted or "negative" emotions fully, and acknowledging grief. I have ideas, but I don't have a plan. I have a graduation date, but I don't have a clear road-map for how I am going to get there. I feel unsettled about many things, and the future is only looking more and more murky as the days go by. Bleh.

All in all, taking a vacation has only been excruciating. I so depend on feeling productive that when I intentionally stop doing anything, in order to rest and regroup, I do not rest; I get depressed and confused. I get cranky and easily frustrated. Everything and everyone makes me unhappy. At some point, I ease into it, but by the time that happens, it's time to return to my regular scheduled programming. Damn it all.

Welcome back! I hope that some time in the new year, you find rest for your soul, time to reflect upon life and love and where you are in the world. At the very least, light a candle, and thank your higher power for another year of life, however thankful you may actually be. Living is always hard, but it's also sometimes beautiful, and that's worth another year.

A life of thrift

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

Matthew 5:4-5 (The Message)

Thrift means never having everything you want, all at the same time. Thrift means sacrificing what you want for the greater good. Thrift means being content with who you are, no more, no less.

 

Living a life of thrift means not selling your soul, the invaluable, intangible part of you.

Less pie.

$6.27.

That's how much I spent today. I think I'm doing better not thrifting compulsively. One of the hardest things is not buying things for other people. I have a friend I buy clothes for, a teacher I buy books for, and then there is the year-long gift buying. When I find something, I get it, and then I'm always ready when a birthday comes.

Now I am feeling calmer. Instead of buying all of the vintage Vogue sewing patterns that I found, I only bought the two most valuable ones. I'm so proud of myself. That viewing of Hoarders really did me some good. I also dropped off a box of stuff today for donating.

I am not compulsive. I am healthy and make healthy decisions. But I did eat too much sugar last night and the headache I woke up with was killer.

Next step in healthy decision-making: less pie.