I love presents!

I'm not much of a holiday gift giver. Yes, I may give you something for your birthday or for Christmas if it's already in my stash, but mostly I'm an everyday gift giver. I love giving presents so freakin' much - sometimes I can't stand it. I get giddy and smiley and I am so excited until the moment. Today I found the greatest thing, and I'm testing it out right now, and I'm dying to text the person to tell them that I got them an amazing present and I don't know how long I'll be able to wait to give it to them (no, it's not for you, or you, or you).

I don't think I really came into my own as a gift-giver until adulthood. I mean, I've always had the skill, the unusual talent, but I don't think that I appreciated how awesome it was, or realized how awesome it might be for other people until I'd reached my early twenties. I went through a period of time of giving lots of money away secretively. That was fun, and maybe too extravagant for that time in my life, but I did it. I gave lots of money to various ministries I supported and causes I believed in. Sometimes I gave because I felt like I had to (i.e. "God loves a cheerful giver"), but over time, I've stopped giving for that reason.

I was taught to tithe to the church, and I struggle with that. I thought that God would give me everything I needed, and then I would tithe out of that. But when I started to not have enough, I stopped giving to the church. Maybe my financial dire straights (not really dire, just full of debt) are due to this, to my lack of faith. But then I think back to all the times I gave so much to people in need, out of my own abundance, and wish that I could somehow receive that back in kind. Money is funny. That's all I'll say.

I might last another 24 hours. This thing is so perfect, I can't stand it.

Vacation is no party.

1980 - Small Vintage Portrait on Particle Board

A few days off have put me into thinking mode, one of my all-time favorite modes, as it were, and I'm sifting through my brain, trying to decide where to go and what to do next in my life. I wish I knew, truly. Today, I'm thinking about opening a thrift store. As yesterday's thinking revealed, dreams are sometimes only images flashing across our brains, without any structure to hold them together.

I wish I could step confidently into the dreams I've had for so long. But what I've found in my life, over and again, is that dreams are never what you think they will be. You fall in love, only to discover the hollowness of the other person. You buy an old car, only to realize that you aren't the hobby mechanic you'd hoped to become. You take a job you'd only just imagined in college could exist, only to find it radically conflicts with who you are as a person.

So I've become a little scared to dream, hesitant to take another step forward only to see a nubile dream die with a thud. I'm scared to discover that being human is really as difficult as it seems to be, full of failings and hardship, slim glimpses of true beauty, followed by slippery hope in something more, something big enough to hold, something more substantial.

I think I've stopped trying to find someone to fall in love with because I've realized it's impossible to manipulate, that some things cannot be made to happen, that some things really are out of our control.

Peace, friends :)

Thrift Share - Brass Edition :)

Vintage Apple Belt Buckle by BTS - 1978

One day, one completely normal boring day, I found two of these buckles. Two. I've listed them for the highest price they sold for in the past few months, and crossed my fingers. If I sell one, I'm going to visit my friend in Canada. Fingers crossed. I have "Best Offer" on it, so maybe someone out there, somewhere in the big wide world, will want it.

I'm willing to wait.

These Ernest Sohn Design - Brass Coaster

My fourteen-year-old friend and I went rummage sale-ing two Saturday mornings ago, and that pretty much fell flat. Rummage sales have huge ranges. My view of a good rummage sale is a lot of stuff to dig through. Anything less than a lot is a yard sale. When you see a lot, you just know.

Rummage sale-ing wasn't going so well, so we drove to a thrift store to make up for it. But on the way, we saw an "Estate Sale" sign, and it was a special sign made of wood and painted, so it was the real deal. And it was worth it. The house was full of stuff, and the estate sale was being run by a dealer. Every single freakin thing was marked and they weren't taking any offers, so I only bought a few things, but it was a fun place to walk through. Tons of vintage stuff, and hundreds of decorative plates.

Brass mice family - these are the kids :)

I found this little family of mice, two parents and three kids. I found the Ernest Sohn piece nearby. I've heard that bras is supposed to be cool right now. What do I know?

Today is Memorial Day, and I slept in late and now I feel drugged and maybe like I won't accomplish anything for the rest of the day, and I might be okay with that. Anyhoo, when I went to Hawaii a couple years back, I went to the Pearl Harbor Memorial, and the message was "Remember". I kept thinking about all of the people who have died, and all of the soldiers overseas in wars that few of them believe in, and I thought, "What are we remembering? What's the point of remembering if we never do anything different?"

Do something different today.

*Linking up with Apron Thrift Girl :)