Facebook lamenting...

Set from Jahreszeiten, design by Susanne Dolker

I have friends on Facebook who lament. I try to lament as little as possible, because the responses are just underwhelming. No one has anything really meaningful to say, because Facebook isn't an inherently meaningful thing. Real person-to-person interaction is best for coping, in my opinion. Even Skyping doesn't do it for me. There is still distance in the conversation.

So when people lament, I try to be as encouraging and empathetic as possible. People lament in public because they want to be heard. They want to be seen. They don't need to hear how "It will all be better someday" or "Silly you. Be positive! Nothing is as bad as you think it is." Those kinds of responses are meant to send encouragement, but I find that they make the lamenter even more angry, because the deep unspoken fear is realized on screen - no one understands.

This is a reminder to myself to be supportive to those who are looking for support, to avoid rubbing people's faces in their own pain.

See you later :)

Making friends :)

I can't wait to sell these boots! They're really cool :)

So now, around town, I feel like a wise old thrifter. I have seen so much. I have patience. I have an appropriately furrowed brow (oh dear, this expression will age me quickly). I am the best thrifting resource you will find, if you only have the time to look around and see if anyone is paying attention to you. I am present. I am smiling. And yes, that color would look great on you.

I used to hang my head and mumble, say "thank you" and never attempt conversation. But something in me has changed over the past year. I think my life has smoothed out to a more steady pace, and I'm able to take moments, full minutes in fact, to speak to people, look them in the eye and talk to them. It's been a trip, really, because it has made my thrifting hobby into something I do, not just because it gives me mindless time (which I need on a daily basis), but it also gives me social time to talk about nothing of any importance. I don't have to give a lot. I can just be me, and enjoy the experience, and smile and let go of the heavy burdens I often put on my own shoulders.

So maybe I'm endearing, and that makes it easy for people to talk to me. Or maybe I'm weird and eccentric, and I don't stand out much (let's all remember fake baby lady from a few weeks ago). I don't know what people think, because sometimes I'm wearing my normal clothes, and sometimes I'm wearing my professional clothes. Maybe they call me something like "weird tall lady" :)

Anyhow, I'm having especially enjoyable times thrifting lately :)

I bought a car!

Pair of Vintage Horrockses Drapes

It's official. I bought a new car. Here is why it's awesome:

1. Air conditioning
2. Power steering
3. Cup holders!
4. CD Player
5. Radio
6. Speedometer
7. Odometer
8. Clock
9. Sun/Moon roof
10. Awesome keyless entry

At some point, I would like to outline the highlights of purchasing a used car. This is my third used car, and I'm really happy with how this whole thing went down. I had to work really hard to accept help from other people, and be honest about what I wanted, and wait until I got it. Then I had to make compromises. I had to settle for less than 40mpg. But to be honest, as soon as I felt that cool air blowing in my face, I forgot all about the mpg. That's how good it felt to not be baking in a traveling oven.

So now I'm working on selling the baking oven. Wish me luck!

What do I do with my car?

Two days ago, I was in a hit-and-run on a local freeway. A large truck was swerving in the far left lane, ran into me on my driver's side, then sped away. There was a fair bit of traffic, and I couldn't move or swerve. It all happened so fast, and for the next several hours, I wasn't quite sure if I had done something wrong, but no, it was an accident, and it sucks, and that's just how it is.

So now my car is in worse shape than ever, and I don't want to deal with it anymore! I just want it to end, this whole car craziness. I don't want to drive a car that people feel compelled to run into (as per this comment last night from a friend: "Yeah, I'd run into that"). This darn rabbit keeps digging me into a deeper financial hole, and all I want is out, out, out!

Yesterday, on a lovely trip to see my parents, and do their laundry (disabled parent = need to be productive in the face of chaos), a friend offered me a non-running 1990 Toyota Corolla which needs the following: serpentine belt, temperature gauge, radiator. It's been sitting in their back lot for at least a year, and was running fine until the aforementioned items exploded from the dashboard (no joke). The car has air conditioning, four doors, and upholstery, all of which I covet. And it may be free (before repairs, obviously). So I'm spending a few days deciding what it will cost to fix, whether or not it's wise to do so, and praying to God that somehow, in some small way, I can be relieved of this mess.

Peace out :)

Ack! I had a good night's sleep!

I swear these look mint green in person, but now I'm unsure.

Omg. My psyche was on OVERLOAD last night. I had this dream about massive flea markets and past and future selves meeting eachother. It was super cool. Andy from Weeds and Liam Neeson were there, along with massive mafia/drug gang action. My brain is a cool place.

I have been living without Earth Balance for a couple weeks, and it is not a happy place to be. I miss it so much. But I still have my Daiya cheese, so that makes it somewhat better. I am such a vegan. What can I say?

So there's been an unplanted pot of tomatoes in our backyard, just waiting to be planted, and it's been so stinkin hot, that I've just been watering them a lot. I figured that heat + relocation wasn't a good plan. Anyhow, finally, this morning wasn't crazy hot, and I feel like a tornado with the amount of energy that I have, so I just dug a big hole, coated it with compost, and stuck that darn thing in the ground. I'm a rock star.

Someone commented on yesterday's post requesting an eBay button for my store. A suggestion is one thing. A request is another. I respond to requests. I ponder suggestions. Just a friendly tip. If you want something from me, I guess the trick is to just ask for it.

I did something yesterday that makes me feel like the best version of myself. If I remember, I'll write about it tomorrow :)

Online Dating Update #4

Sandra Boynton mug :)

Okay, so I haven't given an online dating update because I suddenly feel very vulnerable writing about what has been going on. Suddenly I'm extra nervous about people reading my blog, and people finding my blog. A few months ago, I found out that a very unpleasant person was reading my blog and then using it to manipulate me. That was enough for me, but now this is different. This is new and scary and should I have a pen name? Should I change the name of my shop and blog so that I do a better job concealing my identity? Yikes. Ack! Anxiety! Waking up at 6:30 every morning with dark circles under my eyes!

Phew, okay. That's all you get.

Survive the best you can.

Don't you just wanna feed it bugs?

Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo. What a day. It began with a night of terrible insomnia, followed by interactions with the police after I found my friend's home had been broken into overnight. What a day -- not one I'd like to repeat anytime soon. My friend's already antsy, loud, and annoying dog was on point today, yelping all over the house, letting me know that something was terribly, terribly wrong. And it was.

Why do people steal from their neighbors? Why do people steal at all? My experience last year with a home robbery was traumatic in a way, and I don't ever want to experience anything like it again. But seeing the drawers opened all over the house reminded me that bad things happen to good people, and there are no warnings to the crap that happens to us sometimes.

All I want to do is help people survive the crap they get dealt. But when I see the perpetrators damage in front of me, tangible evidence, I feel a little loss of hope. Then this afternoon, I came home in the middle of a gang territorial confrontation on the corner by my house. It feels like there is no hope, like this is life, and all we can do is survive the best we can.

Online Dating Update #3

Heath mug - looks like it needs a matching saucer.

So now I'm a roll. I have fun things to tell you.

1. I've now been matched with people I know, and that is strange in and of itself, but also interesting. Do I try to communicate with people I know and already have preconceived notions about? Or do I play it safe and stay away from what I know is not a good fit for me?
2. I didn't answer one guy's questions because I wasn't interested, and he sent me a message that said, "Why are you so thrifty?" I think he was trying to be smart, by saying in not so many words, "Why are you playing it safe?" but it didn't sound so great to me.
3. Another guy emailed me directly, saying "Hey Megan! How was your weekend? Mine was great! I went swimming and hung out with my friends! Do you have friends?..." It went on for a bit. It felt really familiar and I didn't like that.
4. Greatest passion in life? "Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior".  Where do you spend your leisure time? "At church, hanging out with Jesus". What are you most thankful for? "Jesus dying for my sins". Thing you can't live without? "My bible, the book of Jesus."

Some Heath mugs are marked with a model number; not this one :(

And then there are the actual interactions.

A. A great guy, an artist by trade, but got me to thinking that I didn't want to entertain possibilities that would take me away from home. Maybe in the future, I will move away, but right now, I am here in a community that I love, and I'm not anywhere near ready to leave or travel for a relationship.
B. A somewhat "earthy" person who lives nearby. Interesting, not pathologically obsessed with Jesus. Good vibes. Not much to say now, but positive thus far :)

I think Sunday is the day for eHarmony. It seems like a lot happens. I myself am sitting on my bed watching old SNL episodes and looking at jobs. Right now I'm wondering if I should change my profile photo. It's currently a photo I took with my computer, and I don't know if I should have one taken by one of my many friends who enjoy taking photos.

Throw away government?

 

Election season makes me crazy. Living in the US means that it's pretty much always election season. Somehow it's the norm for everyone to put their energy into candidates, instead of their communities. Millions of dollars are spent by individuals who believe that their candidate will make their life better. But what has government ever done for you? Has it given you a hug when you were tired and sad? Did it make you a sandwich when you were hungry? Did it give you a place to live when you were homeless? Or did it mostly just flap its gums telling you to pay attention to it?

How about this election season, you make a conscious choice to invest in your community, so that next time election season rolls around, you care less about who might get elected, and more about what you're doing to bring positive change in your community.

Nope, won't buy it.

 

I feel like in order for me to feel good about myself in the world, and in business of any kind, I need to feel good about what I sell. That means not buying anything that I wouldn't feel good giving to another person. I don't like to speak ill of anyone or anything. I try to be as positive as possible on this blog. So I'm keeping the list very short.

1. Disney princess stuff: I just saw this dress on Pinterest and it made me shudder. More and more, I'm confused by the wedding obsession in our culture. I'm all for a party. Bring on the week-long party like in India! But there is something unsettling about the princess dress craze. Is it about being pretty? or is it about being the center of the universe? So it is my opinion that Disney princesses add to this unbalance, and I don't feel comfortable profiting from something I don't agree with. Even as I write this, I wonder where this feeling came from, and how I became so biased in this direction.

2. Weapons of any kind, or anything that promotes violence: That means no army men, or guns, or books that promote hate. That means no Rush Limbaugh or Ann Coulter. Actually, a lot of hate can be found in religious materials, so that means that a lot of "Christian" materials are also off the list. Again, even as I write this, I wonder where this is coming from. How many guns do I come across whilst thrifting? Fake guns? Toy guns? I feel like a tool right now. A judgmental tool.

3. Pornography: Um, this is a tough one. I love nudes. But I just don't feel comfortable sending something to someone I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel responsible for that person, and I don't like taking on that responsibility.

Okay. I'm going to take Miss Judgey Face to bed now. Peace out.