Victorian Romance

Vintage Fire King Milk-Glass Tulip Saucer :)

I'm still listening to Taylor Swift. Whatever. My mom thinks my life is a Victorian romance novel, but I know better. Pathological delusional thinking does not a romantic life make. My life is below-the-fold material.

I think my love life makes me look like a little kid who doesn't know anything about life or commitment. It makes me look like a stupid single girl who thinks she knows things she could never know. Maybe those things are absolutely true. Maybe I am stupid and silly and immature. Maybe I'm seriously emotionally disabled and operating at a 13 year-old level. I think I'm okay with those things being true right now, mostly because who I am is who I am, and there's nothing I can do about it.

So maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, combing the landfills of love, looking for something salvageable. Maybe you've heard this all a hundred times, and thinking, "What the hell is this blog about anyway, and when is it going to get interesting?" Well, sorry. I'm just a poor little orphan girl, looking for a home, and trying to make sure that people stop looking at the new, and start looking at the old.

Drunk teenagers

Vintage Peanuts bed-sheet - Charlie Brown & Snoopy :)

Yesterday, I hung out with drunk teenagers. It was 5 o'clock in the evening, and they wanted to start roaming the neighborhood, so I accompanied them. We went to the park, swung on the swings, and generally had a nice time. They were overly affectionate and making friends with people they referred to as "hobos", as in, "Hobos sure are cool, Megan." Eventually, I decided I'd had enough and turned for home. Once we were inside an enclosed space, I immediately wanted them to leave. I wanted to sit with adults and eat dinner, and not have teenagers screaming in my ear.

At one point in my life, I too was a stupid drunk teenager. I drank a lot in high school, and by the time I graduated, was pretty much done with the scene. I got to college, and it seemed so strange to me. Where was the fun? Where did I fit in if I didn't drink? How could I be social and well-liked, but not have to go to worship night and sing hymns? It never seemed like there were other options, so I played the part. A close friend regales me with stories of me at parties, drunk and topless, which I have no memory of.

I drank for the same reason most people do. I drank to get away from feeling lost and alone. I drank to fit in. I drank to pretend that everything in my life was okay, and that I wasn't miserable all the time. It worked. But it also brought out my selfishness, and my tendency to be unkind. I was too honest, unfiltered, and passed out quickly. I was like a tornado, spinning quickly through the room, spreading loads of damage, then disappearing into the night.

I don't miss those days. I don't miss feeling so awful, hating myself so incredibly much. I like myself today, and I strive to spend my time in a way that encourages self-love and discourages self-loathing. Oftentimes, I am too hard on myself, and I expect more of myself than I do of anyone else. But sometimes I get it right, and then on a rare occasion think, "Gosh I'm glad to be alive". But that's not today. I'll try again tomorrow.

Peace out :)

Postscript (10/21/12): I in no way contributed to the teenagers being drunk, just in case you worrywarts are having anxiety.

Ridiculous morning.

Yeah, I sell art books. This one is on American Impressionists.

Ridiculous. That is what I am thinking right now. And that may be due to my usual insomnia-laced mania, or (more likely) it may be due to the fact that I woke up at 5am for an estate sale that ended up being SO overpriced, that I bought one thing. One thing! I was the first person in line! I think I mostly just feel silly for thinking that I was going to be able to purchase something for $1000 that ended up with an asking price of $4995. Silly me.

I did realize, as I was driving away, that I have not held up my end of the "no thrifting week". I bought a Starbucks solo coffee press at the estate sale this morning and a tape machine dispenser at a thrift store yesterday. I'd seen the tape dispenser weeks ago, then again when it hadn't sold, and I looked it up, thinking, "I wonder...". It was a good bet. Now I just need to figure out how to ship that darn thing. It will officially be the heaviest thing I have ever shipped. The last time I sold something really bulky that I didn't feel confident about, I went to the local office store, and had them pack it. I don't know why that made me feel better, but it did. We all know what trouble I have with packing :)

So all in all, I feel good. Today and tomorrow may be difficult, but I'm committed to working through my stuff (my inventory, not my emotional handicaps). No encouragements necessary, but all are appreciated, nonetheless.

Thrift Share Monday :)

I'm on a total mug kick, inspired by The Recycle-ista and her penchant for finding Starbucks mugs. For whatever reason, I love buying mugs and photographing them and selling them. I love that I get to add a bit of fun to someone's morning coffee or tea (or late night soy milk, my newest fave).

The more I resell, the more I find that I am committed to making the world a better place through reselling used goods. That kinda sounds silly when I read it in my head, but that's why I do it. That's pretty much why I do everything, and I don't always succeed. For example, I dropped the ball and two Heath mugs broke in transit to their buyer this week. The shame! So after sending a full refund, I immediately went on eBay and bought some pre-owned bubble wrap (unpopped bubbles though, so no worries).

It is not okay that my shipping record is less than perfect. But, unfortunately, my failure in packaging can easily be tied to my emotional handicaps. I don't always protect myself sufficiently. I pack with newspaper when bubble wrap is needed.

 

On a lighter note, I am having new ideas! I want to reform the underground housecleaning community to become more marketable, for their own financial benefit, by using all-natural products. I want to put outdoor shades outside my single pane windows so my apartment isn't so hot this summer. I want to create some wort of workstation for packing and shipping so my apartment isn't so crazy-making. Summer is coming, and I'm excited!

Linking up with Apron Thrift Girl :)

Universal health care is for commies.

 

Megan: "I would like to refill a prescription."

Pharmacy: "Oh, that seems like a normal request. Let us take care of that for you."

Insurance Company: "We do not believe that this person requires this prescription."

Pharmacy: "Oh, okay...Hey, Megan, the insurance company won't cover the prescription you've been receiving for the past ten years. They need more information about the status of your need for this prescription."

Megan: "It's for test strips, you know, for my chronic diabetes. I get them all the freakin' time."

Pharmacy: "We'll have to get back to you. In the meantime, try not to die."