Ah, vacation...

Hey, I'm hip and down with the Southwest vibe...

All great and precious things are lonely.

John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 
So I'm not a frou-frou coffee drinker. I've had moments in time where I have been, but all-in-all, I like it strong and I like it black, and I enjoy most diner coffee. I'm not picky.

But I had a class at night a couple years ago, and found that after a full day of classes, the best way to get through was to walk to the coffee shop at 7:30 and buy a soy mocha. I wasn't flush with cash, but I did it because it worked. It kept me awake, and it gave me something to look forward to. It was my self-care.

This week, I am in the presence of greatness. I am living with the Ferrari of espresso machines. It tells you what it needs at any given moment. It makes espresso at the touch of a button. It taught me how to make foam, and I have never made foam in my life.

Anyhow, it's made me think that when I am far older than I am today, and I have some sort of discretionary income, I will purchase one of these bad boys (hey, I even found some used on eBay), and be in general, a happier person overall.

Funny how small things can do that, huh?

I am bad at being patient.

After waiting two years to find these in my size, when they arrived, all I could think was, "Meh"

So I moved into my new office today, and found that in spite of my saying that "yes, that's okay with me", it did not feel okay to have someone else's things in the office. The previous occupant needs a little bit of grace to move her things out. And in that moment (which extended into a school-day long of feeling crappy and anxious), I realized, "Hey Megan, you're not as patient as you thought you were." Shit. I was afraid of that.

I have waited for a lot of things in my life, and for some of them, I am still waiting. Scratch that. I've been waiting for a lot of things for my whole life. I thought that this waiting was making me a patient person, but in fact, it isn't. I've become angry about the waiting. I'm angry with God for the hand I was dealt. I'm angry at God for not plucking me out of my own life, and giving me a similar, but easier, alternate reality. Instead of being an adult about the whole thing, I've allowed my three-year-old self to run the show, and she's constantly asking, "Are we there yet?" And I don't know what to tell her. "No, we're not there yet. I don't know when we're going to be there, or if we'll ever get there, or if I even know where it is we're supposedly going." Is that what I say?

Whatever I end up saying, I want it to be something that helps me to be more patient, that points me in the right direction, instead of where I am at the moment, the decidedly wrong direction. Somehow, I need to learn to be patient for the things I want. But it's so hard. I want it now!

Also, I'm terrible with change, so that might not be helping the situation. Prescription? More cowbell!

Thrift Share Monday :)

I'm on a total mug kick, inspired by The Recycle-ista and her penchant for finding Starbucks mugs. For whatever reason, I love buying mugs and photographing them and selling them. I love that I get to add a bit of fun to someone's morning coffee or tea (or late night soy milk, my newest fave).

The more I resell, the more I find that I am committed to making the world a better place through reselling used goods. That kinda sounds silly when I read it in my head, but that's why I do it. That's pretty much why I do everything, and I don't always succeed. For example, I dropped the ball and two Heath mugs broke in transit to their buyer this week. The shame! So after sending a full refund, I immediately went on eBay and bought some pre-owned bubble wrap (unpopped bubbles though, so no worries).

It is not okay that my shipping record is less than perfect. But, unfortunately, my failure in packaging can easily be tied to my emotional handicaps. I don't always protect myself sufficiently. I pack with newspaper when bubble wrap is needed.

 

On a lighter note, I am having new ideas! I want to reform the underground housecleaning community to become more marketable, for their own financial benefit, by using all-natural products. I want to put outdoor shades outside my single pane windows so my apartment isn't so hot this summer. I want to create some wort of workstation for packing and shipping so my apartment isn't so crazy-making. Summer is coming, and I'm excited!

Linking up with Apron Thrift Girl :)

Be an activist...please

 

So this whole Occupy movement has unfortunately been stomped on lately, but now the battle against the banks and the foreclosure crisis is heating up. One example of this is Occupy our Homes, which works to keep people in their homes post-eviction by any [peaceful] means necessary. Honestly, I have some resistance to this, and I'd like to work it out a bit. Bear with me. I will get somewhere.

I was raised on corn-fed beef and "We Hate Clinton" yard signs, so "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is not so much a saying in my mind as it is an understood core philosophy of what every person should strive for. I also believe that evil exists, and that systemic evil is particularly powerful. Secrets breed more secrets, and power is addictive. We, as a culture, have operated under the guise of self-sustainability for so long, that we didn't even notice that it was a farce. We are owned, and not by something good and pure, but by banks and corporations.

I believe that there is enough money in the system to pay fair wages, but a lot of that money is in the hands of a few people, and we gave it to them. Yup. You and me. We gave it to them. We handed it over and said, "Here, I trust you." And now we're all sunk in a pit of confusion and despair, because we didn't know any better.

But now we know better. And as Dr. Phil says (or Maya Angelou), "When you know better, you do better." So do better. Move your money, out of Bank of America, Chase, J.P. Morgan, and any other bank that didn't either originate in your area, or directly serve the people in your area. My neighborhood has one bank: B of A. My neighborhood is the poorest of the poor: the undocumented, the refugees, the single moms on public assistance-lots of people who don't have bank accounts. Every one of them is trying to make life work one day at a time. But they're stuck in a system that tells them, "This is the way" and life is so hard that they listen.

I think that some of the movement in this area needs to be towards educating people who need to learn how to empower themselves. It needs to be credit unions making themselves known to local communities, and not just to those who have already heard. Stop preaching to the choir. If they've already heard it, and haven't acted, shake the dust off your feet, and move on!

Be an activist. But don't quit your day job please.

I'm no splurger

I do not splurge. Splurging is outside of my zone of proximal development. But sometimes, when I feel light as air, no worries on my mind, I do something silly, like buy a plane ticket to Hawaii to see friends, or gather my girlfriends to see a movie at the $3 theater (!).

When is thrifty awesome, and when does it start to ruin your life, or take you away from your best possible life? When do decisions you make for the right reasons, become the wrong ending without your consent?

A few years ago, I decided to sell my car. It had bad juju. I went carless for a month or so, which was a huge pain because I lived far from everything. Then I bought a wonderful old VW Diesel Rabbit, and it was so awesome, for twelve hours. Then it was undriveable.

The last three years have been the same. It will be wonderful, then it will be $2000. I am in a financial pit because of my car. Well, not so much a pit, as a desert. But I don't have the capital to buy a new one, so I'm stuck. I'm stuck between changing who I am (i.e. not a person who goes into debt or a person who makes car payments) and being somewhat unhappy. My car is fully functional. Don't get me wrong. I love my car. Everyone who sees my car loves my car, but the upkeep on something of its age is unbelievable. So I'm stuck.

A fellow student bought a used hybrid at auction. She gave me the price tag of $6500 to shoot for. That seems manageable, not manageable for me, but not astronomical. So right now, I'm just sitting, and thinking, and fantasizing about air conditioning and power steering and NPR in the morning and taking road trips to San Francisco on a whim. The fantasy keeps me going sometimes. It's hope for a better tomorrow, when today is unmanageable.

"Don't bogart that can...man."

So since I can't go out and do "people on the street" interviews in my neighborhood, this is essentially the state of things in my part of the city. And it's been this way for so long that it doesn't even faze me. This is life as we now know it.

I've heard on more than one occasion that this is ripping off the city. By stealing from recycling bins, people are essentially stealing from the city's income revenue. I doubt that this is a real issue, but am more than willing to take feedback on it. If you know anyone who can comment on this issue, I'd love to hear from someone who knows what they're talking about.