Drunk teenagers

Vintage Peanuts bed-sheet - Charlie Brown & Snoopy :)

Yesterday, I hung out with drunk teenagers. It was 5 o'clock in the evening, and they wanted to start roaming the neighborhood, so I accompanied them. We went to the park, swung on the swings, and generally had a nice time. They were overly affectionate and making friends with people they referred to as "hobos", as in, "Hobos sure are cool, Megan." Eventually, I decided I'd had enough and turned for home. Once we were inside an enclosed space, I immediately wanted them to leave. I wanted to sit with adults and eat dinner, and not have teenagers screaming in my ear.

At one point in my life, I too was a stupid drunk teenager. I drank a lot in high school, and by the time I graduated, was pretty much done with the scene. I got to college, and it seemed so strange to me. Where was the fun? Where did I fit in if I didn't drink? How could I be social and well-liked, but not have to go to worship night and sing hymns? It never seemed like there were other options, so I played the part. A close friend regales me with stories of me at parties, drunk and topless, which I have no memory of.

I drank for the same reason most people do. I drank to get away from feeling lost and alone. I drank to fit in. I drank to pretend that everything in my life was okay, and that I wasn't miserable all the time. It worked. But it also brought out my selfishness, and my tendency to be unkind. I was too honest, unfiltered, and passed out quickly. I was like a tornado, spinning quickly through the room, spreading loads of damage, then disappearing into the night.

I don't miss those days. I don't miss feeling so awful, hating myself so incredibly much. I like myself today, and I strive to spend my time in a way that encourages self-love and discourages self-loathing. Oftentimes, I am too hard on myself, and I expect more of myself than I do of anyone else. But sometimes I get it right, and then on a rare occasion think, "Gosh I'm glad to be alive". But that's not today. I'll try again tomorrow.

Peace out :)

Postscript (10/21/12): I in no way contributed to the teenagers being drunk, just in case you worrywarts are having anxiety.

A gay affair

My friend Vanessa over at Thrift Core has a booth at an antique store, and writes regularly about how to keep a booth fresh and profitable. The more I think about it, the more I think it's a great idea. Why not? It would allow me to put inventory somewhere other than my home, and would allow me to utilize all of those "fun finds" that often go unnoticed online. I don't know. It's an idea.

The dryer at our house is broken and squeaking like a mofo, so all of my clothes are outside right now drying in the wind. There's a miniature orchard in our backyard, and I think that graduation means I deserve to put my hammock up in the shade. It will be my napping/reading spot. I just need someone to help me with knotting the ropes. I also don't have any rope, so I'll need that too.

Tomorrow is the graduation banquet. We call it a "gala", but no one dresses that nice. You know the stereotype about the poor graduate student? It's a real thing. I went shopping last weekend at an outlet mall. I was shocked to see people spend more than $3 for a top. Pretty much every year at the gala, I wear one of two dresses I got from our school's clothes closet. What's better than free, baby?!