The Boys from Brazil

I realized this week that every movie that I watch that has violence, provides me with some sort of implicit social commentary on the nature of violence. If this were intentional, it seems like peace would be easier to achieve. If the Hunger Games trilogy is so popular, shouldn't we be seeing a peaceful revolution developing right in front of us? Some part of me thinks it is on the horizon, that somehow generations are being formed that will shift global consciousness towards peace and reconciliation. Or maybe I'm too hopeful for my own good.

Yesterday, I watched Red Dawn (1984), directed by John Milius, and starring a young Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen, and at the end of it felt like I'd watched a commentary on present-day Afghanistan. Young people are driven out into the wilderness during an attack on the US, and they become like cave-dwellers in the mountains, paranoid and hungry, willing to kill anyone who crosses them, even their closest friends. Isolation mixed with fear can produce some pretty nasty consequences.

Today I watched The Boys from Brazil (1978), directed by Franklin J. Schaffner. World War II themes combined with 1970s era South America? It sounds like a recipe for my perfect movie. Also, Steve Gutenberg was pretty hot as a young twenty-something ;) It answers the strange and wonderful question, "Should you kill baby Hitler, if you knew he was Hitler?" Fascinating movie about social engineering and evil intent.

I guess the more violence I see, the more senseless it becomes. Perhaps that's just my special brain working. I don't know any better; it's the only one I've ever had :)

The Whistleblower.

The Immaculate Heart of Mary by Bosseron Chambers

The Whistleblower (2010), starring Rachel Weisz, tells the story of a US citizen who revealed a massive sex trafficking ring in Bosnia-Herzegovina after the war of the late 20th century. She was employed by a private UK-based contractor, hired by the UN. While working on gender-related crimes (i.e. crimes against women), she discovered that there was massive organized slavery happening in Bosnia, sustained by the international community, who had been brought to the country to be peacekeepers.

When the Bosnian war was over, and the UN peacekeepers had moved in, the true war against evil didn't end. We use the word war to describe a confluence of circumstances in which the international community must take part. But there are no clear lines between war and not war. Real war never ends, just as true evil is never exterminated.

Kathryn Bolkovac, who Weisz portrays in the film, was a regular person in an extraordinary situation, and for whatever reason, she saw bad things happening and didn't look away. While I was watching the movie, I could hear a voice in my head saying, "dude, move on, this isn't your job", but she was a peacekeeper, someone hired to bring peace, and she took that job seriously.

If you have the power to see, it is a gift, and is not to be misused or ignored. It should be cultivated and honored, used for good. Ignoring the seer in oneself causes it to die, or lose strength. It is fed when we listen to it. We have all ignored things that are painful because we feel overwhelmed. But the far greater tragedy happens when we are all too preoccupied to pay attention to one another, when we no longer see suffering at all.

Science Fiction.

When I was a kid, I loathed science fiction, didn't get it, thought it was dumb, etc. It just didn't interest me, and I couldn't understand how or why it interested other people. It scared me, to see aliens in movies (Signs scared the crap out of me; Star Wars was just a fad I had to be a part of). I also happen to love reality television, the delicious ridiculousness of it, the psychological assessments I get to do on the fly. The real vs. the unreal; this is my battle.

Flash forward a few years, and suddenly I'm super into The X Files. I think I even watched Zombieland recently with my teenage pals. I'm becoming more open to the unreal, to the imaginative part of life, and I think it's a good thing. I need more fantasy in my life to balance out the harsh realities I see every day. I need things to take my mind completely away from the day-to-day. I'm even reading Michael Crichton. Good stuff.

I'm avoiding life at the moment, making excuses, ignoring phone calls, hoping that nothing is waiting for me around the corner, hoping no one else will die or get some horrible disease. I just don't know if I can do this whole "getting older" thing. Because the older I get, the more people I love, and then people die. They get cancer. They get old. They get suicidal. It happens.

But I'm tired of it happening, and I'm just done for right now. So yeah, I'm not my most exuberant self, but I'm alive, and I don't have a brain tumor or epilepsy, so I'm trying to find some goodness in that. But otherwise, I'm wishing that I hadn't chosen to let myself love people so long ago, because it hurts to lose them.

So I go thrifting every day. And make apple muffins for breakfast, and hope that life will smooth itself out, because it usually does.

Peace out :)

Happy Saturday :)

This bird's nest fell out of a tree in my front yard :)

This has been a tough week, but the past several have been tough, so that really doesn't mean all that much. I hate the depression of summer, but it keeps me from going over the edge and collapsing the rest of the time, so it's worth the difficult days, usually. Mostly I just sit in my apartment with my mini fan pointed directly at me, doing eBay schtuff and listening to talk radio. Television makes me feel a lot more guilty, so I try to take it in small amounts (I don't know where I got the idea that summer television was shameful - probably my mother). Also, I drink a lot of smoothies, which makes me feel like a rock star. They're full of spinach and berries. I figure my iron and antioxidant load is now back where it should be.

Tonight, I am going out with friends to see Magic Mike (I later read this, and had some brain waves to the contrary). I am telling you so that you know that I have no shame (I think). Oh man, at the end of Dear John, when Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried's characters end up together after her sufficiently hot first husband dies tragically, gives me hope that love can truly conquer all. I'm not kidding.

Thrift Share Monday :)

I just want to give the world more beauty :)

 

Do you know that there are innocent people in prison? I just watched the documentary, The Thin Blue Line, and it reminds me why I wanted to go into law when I was a kid. I wanted to make sure that no one suffered for a crime they did not commit. I was a dreamer - I still am.

Are you a helper? How did that happen? What is the difference between a person who lives life committed to peace and justice, and a person who lives life for money and power? I guess that's one of the reasons I ended up where I am today as an adult, definitely not a lawyer. I wish I could understand why people decide to work for good, then I could pass it on.

I've named these "The Star Trek Shoes"

My newfound acceptance of science fiction and fantasy is evidence of my ability to dream a little more, to incorporate a little bit more un-reality into my life. I think dreaming is a really important thing. Sometimes we scold children for telling stories, and sometimes we need to be encouraging them to dream more instead of less. There has to be a time where imagination is fostered and nurtured. If we do not dream, we can never hope for something different.

Every one needs something big to dream. Dreaming keeps us alive.

Still linking up with Apron Thrift Girl :)

An outbreak of shopping fever

I am not a "Black Friday Shopper". I think that the whole thing is bizarre, but there are people I love who celebrate it ritually, so I have had to decrease my negative feelings to a dull whine.

Honestly, I just hate crowds. I feel smothered. I feel invisible. I feel out of control. It's all disorienting, and for no good reason. A friend posted something on Facebook last year, to the effect of, "Avoid the crowds-Buy Handmade-Shop Etsy". So I enjoyed looking around at Etsy today, and adoring those vintage motorcycle boots (that I would look amazing in).

In spite of my "anti-consumerism" attitude, I am constantly managing my own drive to consume. And because of that, because even I struggle with it, I think we can all agree that people aren't anywhere near the end of personal consumption. I myself am somewhat in the business of selling, so I think rerouting is a perfectly appropriate way to manage the symptom (i.e. "Buy Local", "Buy Used", "Buy Handmade"). I have come to enjoy ordering online (and of course I recognize that it takes money away from my local economy, but I haven't figured out how to fix that yet).

Today, I have been happily sitting around in my pajamas, save for a brief obligatory trip to the post office. I slept until 11am, and it was lovely. Then I manned my shops, filled orders, and enjoyed the gentle hum of my space heater.

Now I'm watching Outbreak. A wonderful end to a beautiful day. I'm trying to figure out if I should go see Contagion this weekend. It's playing at the cheap theaters, but everyone I know who has seen it has not been impressed.

Enjoy the long weekend, if you have one. Hug a friend, if you're feeling lonely, or wishing you weren't with your family. Hug a friend if you aren't with your family and wishing you were. Hug a tree if you're none of the above.