Writing a book.

For the past several years, I have been slowly working on a book. Slowly is an understatement. This book might never be finished. But it is a part of me in a way that I cannot quite express, and therein lies the purpose of the thing. I write because it is who I am, and the book is my way of trying to figure out who I am. It's a weird circular thing.

Seeing myself is difficult, like running-an-ultramarathon-in-the-desert-difficult. I've spent most of my life seeing myself the way other people have described me: melodramatic, annoying, crazy, ugly. To challenge those messages, some of them a lifetime old, is a daily struggle, a work in the deepest primitive part of my brain. So to reach inside that part takes a different kind of energy than the day-to-day walking-around kind of energy.

Anyhow, the book is about my family and the reasons I am the way I am. But it'll probably take me the rest of my life to make something I'm really proud of. So in the meantime, it will be something, a hope, that sustains me.

Peace.

Big work day :)

Large Vintage Boat Painting on Wood - One of Two

Occasionally, I don't get a lot done. Overall, I am incredibly productive, but this also includes time that is not always filled with activity. Today has already been an incredibly productive day, and it's not even two o'clock yet. I got through a ton of merchandise that has been waiting to be photographed and listed. I feel like a bad ass.

Vintage Hermes on the Lyre Needlepoint

My friend Van over at Thrift Core always talks about branding and doing what nobody else does. Every time she says something about this, I think about what I do differently from other eBay sellers. I have yet to figure it out. I want to be unique, but I also make money from selling things that aren't so unique, like Anthropologie and Lululemon clothing.

Maybe it's because I make so much of my purchases at thrift stores. My store reflects thrift culture in that it is a cheap(er) way to be unique, stand out, but also to wear designer clothing if you don't want to be different. I sell 7 For All Mankind jeans because I know there are teenage girls out there who want to be like everyone else.

Vintage Kitchen Decor - Kitschy Art

More than ever before, I want to make money at what I do, not gold shoes money, just gas and groceries money. I think I've finally come to a place where I think I can make more money doing what I absolutely love. Maybe I haven't figured out how to describe it per se, but I'm figuring out how to do it better every day.

Close friends of mine still don't really know what I do, and that's okay. I haven't talked a lot about it until recently. I think I was embarrassed to be someone with an eBay store. Even when I tried to be vulnerable, I felt like people shut me down with negative statements. I have had to learn to be okay with what I do and who I am regardless of what anyone else says. If I take this position, and actually talk about my life with people I'm close to, I have more positive interactions than negative interactions. I've learned who in my life likes to hear about my shop, and who doesn't really care. Now I have friends in real life who get excited with me when I have a big month.

So all y'all online friends, thank you for all of your support. Sometimes I need your kudos more than you know :)

Mug share :)

Doesn't this remind you of truck-drivers?

I don't know why this mug thing has taken such a hold on me, but it has. It's my thing, and I like having a thing. Maybe when I have a bigger place, I'll have room for some sort of bizarre incongruous collection. I try not to get attached to things, though, so that keeps me from making collections of anything.

The mug only holds a little liquid - false bottom :)

Severe hoarding is a way to hold onto things that we have lost, a tangible way to hold on to the intangible. I've always been super reticent to hang onto things. I occasionally get rid of things, just to make sure I'm not holding on too tightly. That makes me sound somewhat paranoid, now that I think about it. Maybe that's not so healthy, the not wanting to hold onto things.

Somewhere out there is a matching mug that says "me"

I guess I try to walk a fine line between keeping and throwing away, but I don't think I'm very good at it. Just when I think I've figured it out, the pendulum swings in the opposite direction.

Anyhoo, let me know if you collect certain mugs, and I'll be on the lookout for you :)

Mug share :)

B. Kliban Cat skating mug

Kliban mugs are pretty popular. I myself am not very fond of cats. I've become less fond of them as time has gone by. Dogs are better. That's how I feel. Deal with it. Cats are selfish, self-centered, egotistical, etc. They serve no purpose. Rant over. However, if you live on a farm, and the cats take care of rodents, then I rescind my rant, and find them to be quite useful. Not hypocritical. Pragmatic.

Boynton beaver dam mug

I don't find Boynton mugs as endearing as a lot of people, but they sell well, and I enjoy sharing them with others. I'm pretty flush with mugs this weekend, got a good healthy stash going. Storage is always an issue, but they stack fairly well, and can be seen pretty quickly. I had a moment a few weeks ago when I thought about making my Etsy shop into a vintage mug shop, but that seemed to be too much work for the moment, and I'd miss the eclecticism that I've got going, so I've put it off for the moment.

Anthropologie initial mug

I have a coworker who always drinks out of this mug (with her initial on it), so I knew it as soon as I saw it. I'm not as fluent in Anthropologie brands and symbols as other people are, so I lucked out this time. Some people are all about brands whilst thrift shopping. Me, less so.

I am, however, having a lot of trouble dressing myself lately, which is anecdotal at best, but really important to my everyday functioning. Maybe it's the cold. I'm just having trouble with my current sweaters combined with pants, combined with tops, and then I feel like I'm a freakish color wheel with no sense of matching, and then I only have black tights which don't go with much, except black and then I look like I'm in mourning, but I don't want to wear bright colors, because then I'd look even more discombobulated. Or maybe observers think I'm a genius who's too brilliant to be understood. This lack of appropriate matching is only worsened by my hair, which has reached epic levels of fro-ishness, and it's making me have some identity issues.

I'm currently hooked on The X Files, which is awesome. All is well :)

"Here we come rejoicing"

There's a small out-of-the-way thrift store downtown that I go to pretty often. I don't know if I've talked about it before. The thrift store supports a deep-seated ministry in the city. I don't quite understand what the ministry itself does, though I've been shopping there for years. There have been signs on the wall saying that some money helps kids go to camp, but I don't think I've seen those signs lately.

It's my secret spot. I always find good stuff. Oftentimes, I have to spend a lot of time cleaning my purchase(s), but it's usually worth it.

Anyhoo, there's a lovely woman who works there, and she enjoys listening to children's bible tapes. A couple months ago, children were singing Old Testament passages from the Torah. Today, they were singing songs about Jesus. I told her how much I enjoyed the music. I bitch and moan about Christian music overkill in thrift stores, but I'm beginning to appreciate the nostagia of it. Today, as those children were singing, I was thinking about my childhood, and this album. I've been trying to find some audio, but have been unsuccessful.

Got anything layin' around?

Do you have something around your house that takes up a lot of space, but has no purpose? Read this article (or just glance at the title) and watch the accompanying video. You may be inspired.

Of course, this was an interesting story to me because I live in California, and when one flies over pretty much anywhere in our lovely state, one will immediately recognize the number of swimming pools we have in our backyards. When I lived in San Diego County, our neighborhood had a shared community pool, and it was big and deep and always the perfect temperature. I think there was also a spa/jacuzzi. It was fun. It was a place to see friends. I enjoyed it.

I'd like to see more communities planned in this way. Obviously, in my old neighborhood, we swam at the pool year-round. Where I live now, pools are used less often because our winters are not conducive to winter swimming. We lie at the extremes, temperature-wise. So here's my thought: why not put that space to good use, like the family in Arizona? Why not create more shared spaces, and fewer individual spaces that can't be shared neighborhood-wide?

This is just a thought. I don't know how I can make this happen. I have a negative amount in my bank account. What do I know?