It's your life - own it.

When a relationship fails, it is never one person's fault, never. The unique quality of being human is that we keep coming back to each other, even though together we can make one another miserable. So it is that when a relationship fails, it's on both parties.

You chose to marry that person. You made choices which led to the relationship's demise. And now you must live with the consequences of that action. You married someone who left you? Yup, you participated in that. If you've been left, don't cry "Foul!" as if you are innocent in the demise of the relationship. Own it, people. Own it.

These are just some meandering thoughts I've been having. It's very important to me for adults to act like adults, to put the needs of their loved ones (especially children) above their own needs. That's what adults do. Adults are calm and firm in the midst of crisis. They do not call names; they are kind. Adults are not passive-aggressive; adults say what's on their minds, respectfully and plainly. They do not do these things because they are easy. They do them because they are the right things to do.

Being an adult is difficult. Being married is difficult. But it is what it is. It's your life. Own it.

Put the gun down.

So I'm watching Law & Order, Season 1; good stuff. Less technology, but the same general script. Anyhow, in this episode, two cops are chasing a suspect. One goes into the vacant building making a racket. The other positions himself at the fire escape, and sticks his gun into his pants. Then he looks around, sees some trash cans, and picks up a metal lid (old school trash can). The kid comes flying down the fire escape, gun in hand. The cop waits, then sticks the lid out just as the kid runs by-breaks the kid's nose. Awesome (i.e. the conscious choice not to kill).

I am a pacifist, to the core. I abhor violence. I'm even having to watch myself lately so I don't let my own feelings about violence cloud my relationships in my work. It's important that we allow others to make up their own minds about things, and not assume that we should bring them over to our side of any debate. Right now, I'm dealing with the issue of horror films. It's tough to stay quiet about my own opinion, but after I began doing it, I was better able to hear what the person was saying. Instead of spending my time trying to figure out how to convince them that they should never watch a horror movie ever again, I was spending my time hearing them, a much better option.

Anyhow, the kid's nose was broken, and I'm excited? Yup. Anytime I see someone with a more lethal option at their disposal, put it away and reach for something less lethal, I applaud. Violence will never go away. Human beings will always be stupid and try to hurt each other in any way they can; this is part of being human-we mess up. But we infinitely compound that stupidity when we purchase guns. More people get hurt, instead of fewer. More people live in fear, instead of fewer. Yes, the alternative might be strange (e.g. trash can lid), but it should always be first in our minds, rather than a grievous afterthought.