A Magical Moment

 

I just ate three pieces of pie. They were tiny pieces, but there were three of them. I enjoyed every bite. They were delicious. I also ate a big pile of mashed potatoes, and a big pile of stuffing with cranberry dressing. There were a lot of greens on the plate, and I ate them, but they were less exciting. Now I'm so full and tired and happy, I can't think of anything but those three things.

After work today, I went thrifting in search of a coffee mug for a friend. I swear, at two separate stores, the guys behind the counter lit up when I walked in. It was 5 o'clock in the evening, the end of the work day, and they lit up. They wanted to know if they could help me...know what I was looking for...what I was doing for Thanksgiving... What a weird day. I was feeling strangely happy today though. Maybe it was infectious.

Sometimes I just adore thrift store employees. Sometimes they are grumpy as all get out, but sometimes we really connect. I think tonight was one of those magical times.

Another miracle of the evening was that I went to four different stores and only bought one single coffee mug. Nothing else. I didn't even get stuck staring at shoes, which often happens.

Go me!

Please don't suck it up!

I hate passive aggression, hate it. It makes my cheeks flush, heart races, blood pressure goes up, brow furrows. None of these are good things.

Instead of coming out and saying, "I'm not happy with you", the passive aggressive person waits until you're not expecting it, long after any uncomfortableness has passed. They lie in wait until you're innocently drinking from the stream like a young deer, enjoying the fresh cool water, the blue blue sky, and the gentle breeze blowing over your fur. Then POW! You're shot in the heart, and proceed to die a long slow miserable death, choking on your own blood and gasping for air. All you want to know, before you are gone, is "Why?" and "What the hell is wrong with you (i.e. passive aggressive shooter)?"

A few years ago, this was the only aggression I knew and understood. Then I met a wonderful person who wonderfully told me how she felt at the exact moment she was feeling it. Then that particular anger-inducing incident was over, in her mind. I would of course grieve for days about the loss of our friendship, and come crying to her to take me back, which she always would. But she was never stewing. She was just sad that I had to be sad for so long. She had never even considered not being my friend (Thank you God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I never deserved that amazing gift).

Phew. This relationship lifted the heavy load off of my back that I'd been carrying for decades. Now, whenever some idiot wants to come and return the heavy load, or give me a new one, I can't even stomach it. The idea of taking it back makes me sick.

My motto is: Don't make your problem my problem. Tell me how you feel and be done with it. If you don't, you'll still treat me (and possibly other people) badly, probably unintentionally, and you don't want that.

Tell 'em how you feel, no matter how bad or shameful it seems to you. Your feelings outside of your body are better than your feelings inside your body eating away at all of your organs.

A friend to all...

So now that I'm all into yoga, it seems appropriate to mention something else that I do that is oftentimes mentioned as a friend to the yogi, but is actually a friend to all: The Neti Pot.

Now I may indeed have majorly constricted sinuses, thus making me love nasal irrigation more than most, but let's all remember that snot happens to the best of us, and the clearer your head, well, the clearer your thinking, dreaming, creating, etc. I'm just happier in general when my sinuses are clear, which they're not from October to May, no matter how much I squirt water through them.

In case you don't have a Neti Pot, and don't want to go to the trouble of getting one, get a water bottle of some kind and watch this video; it should help you get started. If you want to go crazy and watch all the other stuff that's out there on YouTube, go for it. But for me, honestly, it's hard enough to do it myself, let alone watch other people do it.

So take a moment, this holiday season, to clear your sinuses with the power of salt and water. Someday, y'all will be old like me and we can dish about our physical ailments, but until then, I will enjoy reminding you all of your own mortality [wink].

Take good care of yourself, please.

I am miserable. I am sick and feverish and miserable. I can't sleep. I can't eat. This day sucks. But as I write this, tomorrow is Monday, and I have to be present to my life. Being sick is not an option. So right now I am eating whole cloves of garlic. What do I have to lose?

I am a huge fan of herbal remedies. I've probably tried everything in some desperate moment. From age 18 to about 25, when I was diabetic and didn't know it, I was sick all the time. I was constantly trying to not be sick. Unfortunately, that didn't always work with infections and concussions. I became a huge fan of major doses of Vitamin C, and if tonight goes as planned, I'm going to add "eating whole garlic" to my daily health regimen.

It's really ridiculous to be sick, to know you're sick, and to have no one believe you. I'm just now starting to not feel sorry for myself every time I get a cold. I'm just now starting to not feel abandoned when I have to spend the whole day in bed sleeping. My life is becoming less determined by my moment-to-moment feelings, and more determined by my chosen path and chosen relationships. Also, I've learned that even when no one else takes care of me, that isn't a reason to not take care of myself.

Sorry, but the mucus in my head is keeping me from pontificating on what could really be high quality subject matter here. I will say this: Just because you're a hypochondriac doesn't mean you're not sick. It might, but not always. Listen to your body. Give it what it asks for. And even when you're alone and miserable, take the best care of yourself that you possibly can.

"Heal the world...make it a better place..."

Yup, I'm delirious. Peace out.