Oh happy day!

I just got home from my graduation "gala" where I froze my freakin' butt off. Sometimes the event is burning hot, but tonight it was so cold. I put my hair up. I don't know what it looked like from behind, but it looked awesome from the front. I finally bought some super glue and fixed my pearls so I could wear them.

My mom wouldn't stop saying how "fucking proud" of me she is. My dad kept beaming with misty eyes. It was pretty great. Tonight has reminded me that I have made a life for myself in the last five years, a whole meaningful life with people who love me warts and all. When we got into the car and managed to stop our teeth from chattering, I told them how glad I am to have them with me, because when we're together, I make sense.

Dear L & J, Thanks for loving me. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you both so much.-M

Looking ahead, somehow...

"If we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a 'wandering to find home', why should we not look forward to the arrival?"

 C.S. Lewis

How can there be punishment for life on earth, when life on earth is so hard, every day? It never ends. There is no rest, no peace; there is only more pain, and suffering, and death, and sickness. Even at our very best, we are imperfect, flawed, and broken. We walk around in weakened bodies and poisoned minds. We may hope for better, but no one knows what "better" even is. We're told to be happy, but we aren't. We're told to be strong, but we aren't.

I am an extravagant hoper, yet I still fail. You read it here, as I hash out my own life on this blog. I talk big, and act small. I strive for the best. I want so much, and end up with so little. I am human, and impatient, and these past five days, although I have tried desperately to put a brave face forward, have been so very painful for me.

Please hug your dog for me, or your cat, or someone else's dog. If I could somehow spread a little dog love with this post, I think I could stop crying and eat some dinner.

Thank you :)