A light shines in the darkness

I tell every one, every thing. I am all out there, all the time, without shame. I've been this way as long as I can remember, and I've never questioned it as a character trait. It's part of what makes me, me, at least I think it is.

It turns out that not all people are like this. Some people like to be private. I really don't know much more about this phenomenon, but suffice to say, they don't share their business with just anyone.

When I first kissed a boy, I told all my friends. When I had a fight with my mom, I cried at school in front of everybody. When I was interviewed for a leadership camp, I showed up in my bathing suit, and cried while telling the story of how much I admired my swim coach. But that's a little kid who does that, who wants to make sure that no one keeps secrets, that every one is safe. That is not an adult who knows the difference between an acquaintance and a confidante. I'm seeing more and more clearly that I've continued to do this without really thinking about its value in my life. I've left no secret untold because truth is light, and I thought that the light would shine in the darkness, and all would be well, that that light would kill the darkness. I don't know now.

I'm not going to start keeping secrets. I believe that every thing about me should be known, even if the information is spread across a group of people. But now, I have to look at what I thought was an intrinsic part of me, and question whether or not I need that part to be me.

Sometimes in relationships, we are made to look at parts of ourselves that we've never really looked at before, and sometimes, most of the time, we change. Other people help us change. And it may look like throwing away a part of yourself to make another person happy, but I don't think that at all. I think that other people help us to see the parts of ourselves that we don't need, that we otherwise would hold onto without the light of another person.

Be a light in someone's darkness today. It's a beautiful thing.