Ah, the guilt

I spent all day yesterday working on my paper. I have nothing left this morning to go to church.

I feel like I let people down when I don't go, especially when a friend is preaching. I feel like I owe it to her to be there. I feel like people will forget me if they don't see me often enough, that they'll stop caring about me the less they see me.

But I'm so tired, and I've seen what happens when I wear myself too thin. It's not pretty, and I need to leave some wiggle room. I'll get sick at this pace. Ah, but the guilt.

I don't have the energy to analyze this right now, so I'm just going to do it, because I have to. I will suffer the guilt, because the fact is, I don't got have anything left to give right now. I'm all out. See you on the flip side.