I cannot let you die.

My parents' dog died. She was old. It was time.

More than sadness, I feel relief. She suffered for far too long, and now she is happily frolicking in a better place, wherever that may be. And wherever that is, I'd prefer it to wherever I will be when my time comes, because all the dogs will be there, and I do love dogs.

Sometimes we live to avoid death because it is so scary. We ignore it. We ignore our diabetes even when we only have one leg. We ignore our discontentment, even when happiness is only a decision away. We pretend that bad isn't bad, because we think that if we looked at the bad, really looked it in the eyes, we'd die from the shock of it.

In one way or another, we all avoid bad things. We ignore phone calls from people we don't want to talk to. We put on a smile because we don't want anyone to ask us what is wrong. We stay in relationships with people that hurt us, because the alternative is so much worse.

Or is it? Is facing the bad the worst thing? Will it really kill us? Is the fear of death an accurate fear? Or a lie?

[Here is the part where I hesitate to tell the truth, hesitate to say what is real. Because the truth is scary to admit. When I tell the absolute truth, I leave no room for backpedaling.]

The fear of death is folly. Death has already been vanquished. Messiah Jesus has already come and defeated it, and we live in a new reality. We live in this world knowing that death has no power over us. Death has no power but that fear we allow to clench our hearts.

So I don't know what heaven holds, or if there is a heaven at all for me to see. But I do know this: God is unending in love: unconditional, extravagant love. And all that stands between us and that love, is fear.