I really am a Republican

At some point in my early twenties, I believed that I heard the actual voice of God. God told me things, not just bible verse kind of things, but like future prediction kinds of things. I thought that that was what God was all about, revealing things to us that we didn't know, making us prophets, making us special. Turns out, this is not the case.

God is not a puppet-master. God is not whispering in our ears (at least, not mine). God is not after our complete and total devotion so that we can become better robots. We really are free (Note: This is a point on which my parents and I disagree-this, and bonobos, which is a tale for another time). We really get to make our own choices. Circumstances may spring on us without our control; they definitely do. But we are not bound by our circumstances. There is no destiny. You can be whoever you want to be.

Oops.

Can I be a non-diabetic? Nope. Can I be short? Nope. Can I be a republican? It sure seems like it from this post. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps people!

I don't really think that every person is the master of his or her own destiny. Circumstances aren't occasional; they're constant. And there are simply times in life when even though you do everything right, everything goes wrong anyway. I cannot explain this. It's happening to me right now. In my job, in one vitally important situation, I have been doing everything right, and nothing is working. From the outside, I look like a failure. I am not a failure. I am freaking awesome, but somehow the universe doesn't think so. Am I being punished? No-I haven't done anything wrong (maybe I should talk to Michelle Bachmann about this).

None of this makes sense to me, but that's the place I'm at right now. My life has gone from predictable (in an excellent way) to being completely confusing and frustrating. But I'm not giving up. Wanna know where my thriftiness comes from? It's probably from my freakish stubbornness. Wanna break up with me? Not a chance. I'm not going anywhere baby.