When is it OK to change?

I went to look at a new apartment today. It was very small. I don't even know if I can fit all of my stuff in it, and I don't even own a bed. But I like small places. I always enjoyed hiding in the closet as a child, but I can't live in a closet. I am tall, and I've never quite gotten my land legs. I bump into stuff a lot. The ground is far away, so I fall sometimes. I am easily startled, so I need an escape route wherever I am. Living in a really small space might make me feel closed in, and I would be alone, so that might be hard too.

I've lived in my current dwelling for almost three years, which is my adult record. In college, I moved every year, and the year I lived in Brazil, I lived in six different apartments and houses over the course of twelve months. From moving there to moving back home, even though I wasn't gone a full year, my life was turned upside down. When I was a kid, I went to five different elementary schools. I hate moving. I know every one hates moving and hates change, but this is a defining characteristic of my personality. I used to be able to eat oatmeal for two meals a day.

I don't know how change is connected to thrift. I've become pretty accustomed to going through my closet at the beginning/end of every season and getting rid of clothes I'm bored with. But I resist the impulse to purge in other areas of my life. Bored with a friend? That means there's something wrong with me, not them. Bored with family? Same answer. Bored equals boring. But now I'm entering a time in my life when commitment is all over the place and it scares me terribly. People getting married, having babies, making careers. These are things that I once thought were impossible for me, and now I see those things coming ever closer by the day.

So how do I resist the urge to get rid of people and simultaneously commit in every other area of my life? How do I commit all over the place? Pretty soon, there will be no more exits. And that's the scariest part of all.