I spent 48 hours (minus sleeping and eating of course) working on my senior paper this weekend. I came home last night and went to sleep at 8pm. I woke up this morning at 9am. I am still exhausted. I still have a headache. I can't remember the last time I have worked so hard.
I almost wonder if I overdid it. Because I have to do it again next weekend, and probably again the weekend after that. And every time I shared some new "ah-ha" moment with my retreat partner, she was easily able to debunk it. Blerg.
What am I saying? Why am I saying it? My topic doesn't even matter, even though it matters to me. At the end of the day, I love philosophical and theological ethics. Who cares about that shit? I want to be practical, but I'm not. I'm lofty and in the clouds. I want to change the way the world operates, and that's why I study what I study. But after this weekend, I'm feeling like I'm failing, and I don't know what to do.
I'm really tired. I need to rest. I will feel better after resting :)
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